(Originally posted: 2/1/11)
So, still thinking about changing and the stages in making major changes in our lives. We know that if we have clear defined goals that we feel strongly about attaining we have a better of success. But sometimes even if we are working towards goals that are vital to our happiness we stumble along the way and get discouraged. The motivation that we need during times of change unfortunately is mostly going to need to come from us. The key is to plan for this in advance and build in a system that will help us reach our goal. It should be a system with several components, perhaps prizes, an encouraging buddy, some motivating mantras, programs and/or music and perhaps even a do over moment or day, if things really go awry.
If you’re a parent, perhaps you’ve used a star chart with your child. Even if you are working on a task or a behavior that was negative for your child they are usually so happy about the star chart that overall it becomes a positive experience. So what would a “big” kid star chart look like?? Okay so it doesn’t have to be an actual chart but you do need some positive reinforcement for your commitment and dedication. This has to be what would work for you but some ideas could be a small prize, a massage, a lunch date with a friend, a book you’ve been wanting to read and I could go on and on because that’s what it would have to do to include something for everyone. You know you best. If your partner or best friend was going to surprise you with a little something to cheer you up on a down day what would you want that to be???
Next comes the encouraging buddy. Please keep in mind when thinking of someone for this role that you really do want to reach your goal and that you’ve probably already done all of the research necessary for that to happen. You also know the reasons that reaching your goal are important to you and how your life will change when it happens. You don’t want this person to lecture or educate you! You want them to support you. Sometimes if the appropriate friend or partner is not available, a coach is necessary. If you meet someone with a similar goal it can be ideal for both of you. As an adult one of the best ways to meet other like minded individuals is your business networking groups. Usually those people are motivated proactive people who strive to stay positive in their journey. You can form your own support group. Just don’t forget to celebrate together when those goals are reached.
Materials that support and encourage can come from many places. Your place of worship, your women’s or men’s club, the self-help section of the bookstore, the internet including Hayhouse and their many talented authors and the list just goes on. Don’t be afraid to look around and see what’s out there.
And sometimes you could have a completely off day or even week. Unless you know that you’re purposely bailing, be kind and gentle to yourself. Pick yourself up, dust off a bit and go on. And please remember that even if you’re not religious great power can be found in prayer and meditation, even if you’re praying to your higher self.
Good luck and Godspeed on staying the course.